Yeah.

It has been that kind of day.

The day after Thanksgiving~No longer the best deals of the year

There are a bunch of crack-pots claiming that tomorrow is the end of the world.  They say that Jesus is coming to take all the faithful to Heaven, leaving their clothes and jewelry laying in random piles on the ground.  I believe in God, but this seems a bit far-fetched to me.  So, rather than run around trying to get in everything I can on my last day on Earth, I decided to ask my friends what they would loot, if there were suddenly less people.  Because as we all know, if you are gone, the rest of us are taking your stuff.  Don't get mad, you don't need it anymore.

I am thinking that I could probably get two giraffes in my newly looted horse trailer once I use my new torch to cut a hole in the roof.   You all know you want a giraffe.  Look at them^ they are awesome! Plus, if the infrastructure breaks down they are tall enough to keep the riff-raff from pulling you off your mount.

My cousin Amber says she will loot pizza and hoodies.  That is so Amber.  Go for the essentials...warmth and food.  I also suggested she grab up some hooker shoes too, because you need to look hot for the appocalypse.

My friend Siria wants to get some Japanese Maples (those are trees...I think she plans on eating them, she is a vegetarian) and 2 goats.  My Giraffes will kick her goats' asses, but hey, she doesn't eat meat, so she is skinnier.

My friend Laurel will be picking up a new Duramax her neighbor has that she has had her eye on for awile.  Oh and wine.  You cannot survive the end of the world without wine.  It just is not civilized.  I like her.  I think I will let her ride one of my giraffes.  After all, we all need to share in this new world.

And Wendi, My cousin...She has plans for entertainment during those times when there is nothing on TV because the grid is down.  Look out all you pedophiles....Just sayin.

My friend Marty will have the monopoly on Pepsi and poorly flown attack jets.  Sure glad he is my friend. I do so LOVE Pepsi....and I don't want him to be angry with me when he is death from above.

In short, I have some really creative friends.  In no particular order they wanted to squat in Bill Gates' house, various landscaping specimens....and all types of vehicles.  Sometimes, when life throws you a whole lot of sillyness it is best to just make a game of it.  See you all on Sunday morning...and if not, just know that my friends and I will be rollin' up on your stuff.  Nothin personal.

*Several of my friends helped me with this.  Siria Gardi-Montebugnoli "gave" me the giraffe picture.  To quote her, "Well, you already stole the giraffe, the saddle and the trailer, you might as well take the photo too." Without their help, I would just have a really innovative way to steal some giraffes, and no Pepsi.

Why disgusting people stay that way.

I spent the afternoon cleaning my bathroom.  Notice I say my bathroom....The boys have their own, but they still insist upon using mine.  Now, you might think this wouldn't be a big deal, but then you forget THEY ARE BOYS and therefore are disgusting in bathroom practices.  They cannot aim.  They don't flush.  They don't put toilet paper on the roller....and the floor is their garbage can.

As I was cleaning the disgusting off the surfaces of my lovely bathroom...MY lovely bathroom.....I wondered to myself why I was the one cleaning up this nastiness.  Then I realized I was the only one bothered by it.  If something doesn't bother you, you aren't going to change it.  And that is why boys are gross in the bathroom.  It will never bug them, and they will either live with it....or get a woman who will be bothered by it.

My daughter has a bright future...I have a head-ache

I have come to the conclusion that Lily will make an excellent Congresswoman when she grows up. She will take YOUR stuff...and not let you touch ANYTHING that belongs to her. Here is the "logic" I witnessed this morning. Hannah was crying as Lily brought me a piece of Hannah's paper to make an airplane for Lily. Apparently, Lily would not let Hannah have any of Lily's paper.
Lily- "I don't want her to use all my paper."
Me- "Well, yeah, but isn't this some of Hannah's paper?"
Lily-"Yes."
Me-"So...you can have Hannah's paper, but she can't have yours?"
Lily-"But she already has some paper of her own."
Me-"Don't you have paper of your own."
Lily-"Yeah."
My head hurts...really.